The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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