sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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