an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
