Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When are your genitals available?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
