I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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