I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
