I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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