I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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