Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
