The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
