dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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