how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
