If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
