Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
