Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
