Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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