I don't think brook has ever known best
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
