He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
