my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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