Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
