I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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