Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize