Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
