I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
