My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
