So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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