I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
