also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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