Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
