I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All the doctor said was why
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
