Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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