my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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