Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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