Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
