At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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