I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
