Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize