life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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