if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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