3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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