i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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