maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
