I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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