can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
