So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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