guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
