I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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