i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
