What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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