so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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