thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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