i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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