Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
