How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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