you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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