I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
